Tuesday, April 03, 2007
lol 2day is a such an interesting thought-filled day with lots to blog abt. am glad i decided to blog here once again. i'm sick of putting up with a fren who always thinks she's right, i just got to blog my frustrations with her 2day! it's weird really. i was q pissed by her n her "admit u'r wrong cos i'm always right" attitude just now but now i dun really care cos i'v alr told her wad i tot. but still, dis post is for u babe!
since we'v been frens, we'v always had some ups n downs lyk the time in sec sch when we din talk to each other tho i cant rem why. but anw, i think u urself shd noe dat u'r quite a ba4 dao4 person since u noe u'r hard to get along with. it's not dat i'm complaining abt u here cos i'm not. i just wan u to noe dat while i'm used to giving in to u when u wan things ur way, it's not going to happen all the time especially when u demand dat i admit to saying sth dat i noe v clearly i din say.
it's just a vvv small issue n it's damn stupid n ridiculous for 2 gd frens to always b arguing abt dumb things dat r not important at all. if the arguement is abt stuff lyk family or wx, fine. it's a big enough thing worth getting all angry n defensive abt. but clothes? wad crap. i dun even care wad our conversation regarding buying clothes was abt. so wad if i'm right n so wad if u'r right? if u think u'r right n i think i'm right den 4get it n get over it. dun nid to kick up a big fuss over nothing.
n u saying "if u dowan to admit u'r wrong den i think mayb u shdnt come". yah wadeva. just let me collect my f21 clothes, my pillow, blanket n blah n i swear i wun step foot into ur room again. ur roomie will b happier too! i dun really care abt having to wake up earlier but i wun admit to sth i din do just so dat i can save a few minutes of slp. slping in my own bed is much more comfy than on the floor anw.
it's farny how u'r forever so defensive when ppl arent insulting u or wad. lyk the time i commented dat ur temporary perm wad nicer than the permanent one. i was just saying dat i tot the temp one looked more natural, not trying to imply dat the permanent one is ugly. saying one is nicer n saying one is ugly is a big difference.
then the INSTEP thing. i noe u were upset abt not being successful in obtaining a place, n not getting a response from IRO. den when i told u abt round 2 b4 it was announced, u made a big deal out of it saying dat i have priority cos IRO told me abt it n u'r not informed at all so u tot u'r not in the waiting list n blah. n den wad happened? u got the round 2 announcement also wad.
i was excited to think dat mayb u still have a chance to go canada with me but cos the vacancies were taken up cos pple bothered to go IRO earlier, somehow for one reason or another, u got angry over sth again. i dun even rem wad. lolz all i rem is u telling me not to sms u anymore cos u'r angry n wx is pissing u off too, so u wan to turn ur hp off.
lyk i said just now, u seem to think dat u'r the only one who can get angry n dat u'r always right. just cos pple give in to u, doesnt mean u shd take advantage of it n push the limit. even if u'r right n sum1 else is in the wrong, is there really a need or a must to determine the blame n draw the line so clearly? i alr told u, if i'm wrong i'll admit it. dun nid u to tell me to admit it.
when u helped me to collect my watch when i sent it for repair, we also quarrelled abt it. cos i wanted to noe if u'r in hall cos hy was driving n if i can, i cld go to ur hall to get it from u. den for some reason cos it was late or sth (i din bother to really rem the reason) u got pissed n said sth abt "if i noe den i wun collect for u alr". i was angry with u at dat time also cos i'm going to ur hall to get it, u dun even nid to step out of ur room. wad's so difficult abt me going to get my watch from u? not lyk i asked u to meet me at the busstop or wad. u just needed to open the door, pass me the watch n i'll b gone. it wldnt even take 5secs n u got angry abt dat? it's just senseless.
the other day u were telling me abt viv wanting to rethink her options n blah. u were telling me abt how much i underestimate not seeing hy n talked abt accountancy pple being able to go into b&f n other biz areas easily. i told u if employers have a choice, they'd prefer a person who has a degree in the specialization they'r looking for. i still stand by wad i said. i wasnt trying to say dat acc pple cannot do b&f or mkting or wad, just dat it's not as easy to get such jobs compared to those with a b&f or mkting degree. den u also just keep wantinig to insist dat acc ppl also can n blah so i got q turned off n din reply anymore.
u keep insisting dat i c hy more often than u c wx also. n u cldnt stop arguing with me over who sees the bf more. it's a dumb thing to argue abt also okay. so wad if u c wx less n i c hy more? so wad babe? so wad? i cant rem the number of times i told u "let's not argue over dis" cos it's been countless times. but u always wan to end off saying dat u think u'r still correct.
i din check my hp after sending u dat last sms until now. i brought in wx not cos i wan to hurt u. but cos i wan to let u noe dat if u continue always being the way u r, i think u'r just going to hurt ur relationship with wx also. how many times have u quarrelled n how many of these times was he the one who gave in to u? almost everytime i bet. we'v been frens for so many years so i can say dat i'm quite alright with letting u have ur way when u wanna insist dat u'r right.
quite some time ago when wx n i were both in ur hall, u were complaining n scolding him for buying dat model of printer cos it uses ink v fast. i din say anything to u but i felt q bad for wx. he bought the printer for u n still gotta b scolded by u cos the printer uses ink v fast? i dunno if dat's the way u always treat him but from the few encounters i'v had with him, i think he really give in to u alot. u shd go n think abt how much u'r taking for granted.
i dun think u'r a lousy person. if i tot so i wldnt b dat happy to meet u again at westmall's coffeebean when we were mugging for 'A's. i just think dat sumtimes u take things too far when u keep insisting dat u'r right or wan things ur way. in ur reply to my sms, u said u think i spend too much time with hy's frens compared to u. but it is v farny u noe. i go out with them during wkends when u'r not in sg. even when u'r in sg, wadeva free time u have u will wan to spend it with wx cos u'v always been complaining dat u spend too little time with him. dun u find it v farny? u keep saying i dun spend time with u but when u have the time u'd rather spend it with wx also wad.
abt eating dinner n blah, we always cant seem to b free at the same time. when i ask u n u happen to b free, u also sumtimes say wx is coming to eat with u so i'll just go n eat with the both of u. n right, ever since we came uni, i dun think we'r spending less time tog now compared to in yr1 when i was with moses or when we'd broken up. u used to stay in hall 10 n i stayed hall 2. did we always meet up or go out? no. i always ate with ry only.
i dun ask u out but i dun ask pple out. even lastime when i go out with ry, usually she's the one who asked me out. so do u ask me out? no. n ur reason is dat u always ask me out n i'm not free. is it? how many times did u ask me out in the past yr? u also say dat even when we do go out, u'r unhappy cos hy comes along. but i got ask u if u mind. if u really dowan i wun ask him to come but u nv said so. n from wad i rem, he only came out with us lyk twice? not counting the bday celebrations.
the fact dat we go out less compared to lastime lyk in sec sch is simply dat we'r busier now n our timetables r different. even outside lesson time we both have our projects to do, quizzes to study, assignments to rush. i dun think it's fair to push all the blame dat we'r drifting apart fully on me n saying dat the reason for it is dat i spend too much time with hy n his frens. as u can c, recently we really keep having alot of conflict. if u ask me, the main reason y we'r drifting apart is cos of the mindless arguments we'r always engaging in.
rem the times when we wld chat on msn til v late? it doesnt happen now cos we keep quarrelling over v small stuff when we have disagreements. n the fact dat u always wan to insist dat u'r right makes me not wan to continue chatting with u for long so i always end up not replying after awhile or try to change the topic. lyk just now when we were arguing abt the clothes, i tried changing the topic n tell u dat i'm pissed with my proj grp n ask if u'r really going to stay at wx's hse.
mayb after reading the 6-sms long msg n reading dis post (when u do read it), it'll change our frenship. but i think i really just gotta tell u all dis. even if u'r unhappy or angry, dis is just still wad i feel. when i disagree with u, u say "wadeva". u noe wad? yah. wadeva. cos it's my turn to b angry dis time. n i'm not in the wrong cos i have enough reason to b angry.
in a time lyk dis, having no gd frens (with ry in NZ), not talking to my bf n my mum not on talking terms with me, i think i feel quite at ease being alone n take some time to think abt wad i expect out of my relationships with those arnd me.
i cant wait for ry to b back :)
random thoughts at 4:03:00 AM
